The Ood Cast Guide #16a: The Myrka

Green and glinty, sharp-toothed and soggy (and not just because he’s just come in an airlock to attack some humans), the Myrka is the highlight inthe undersea inter-species war of 2084 – a war so fleeting, hard-fought and lop-sided that it lasted barely a week, in four 20 minute bursts.

In their subterranean cave-type base, the Silurians and their Martin Clune-like servants the Sea Devils had managed to capture a sea dragon. They had a long-term strategy which, like all good strategies, needed a dragon to progress.

In two separate incidents, first the Silurians themselves, and later their flappy-eared, string-vest-wearing cannon fodder, raided the towns of Wales and the south coast of England in a carefully co-ordinated attempt to buy remote controlled cars from the nearest branches of Argos.

Over the next few years, the slippery cousins worked away in secret, improving the life of their sea dragon friend – eventually creating a sort of scaly Steve Austin – a million-dollar-Myrka, if you will… equipped with the best remote controlled technology available under the earth (complete with the very latest in spring-loaded suspension and high-traction rubber tires. You know the one Buzz Lightyear and Woody ride in Toy Story? Bit like that, but in dragon form…)

The Silurians put the final stage of their plan into action by carefully coating the Myrka in green emulsion and sending it across the sea bed to attack an airlock of the humans’ seabase. Once through the first section of airlock, the Silurians realised that the emulsion had washed off their robodragon on the way to the seabase and decided to put on one last coat before he broke into the base.

Once inside, he fought bravely. He eventually fell heroically when the Fifth Doctor waved a mini-sunbed at him. It turns out that UV light is to cyber-genetically-modified Sea Dragons what Kryptonite is to Superman. Or vinegar is to Slitheen.

He was survived by a wife and two of those mini robotic Godzilla things you see advertised on TV at Christmas.

Comments 3

  1. I thought you guys kept saying “Merker”

    I had no idea what the hell you people had been referring to and a google search got me no results. You must LOVE the Myrka if it’s mentioned in almost every oodcast!

    Love the show!

    From San Diego, CA.

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